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Plymouth to consider “conspicuous religious display” ban. February 20, 2004

Posted by worldspectacle in Uncategorized.
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Odd icon.

A majority of Plymouth City councillors on Thursday endorsed proposed legislation that would prohibit “conspicuous religious displays”, particularly of “odd icons.”

The measure echoes recent European bans of Islamic head scarves and contradicts statements by Foreign Office Minister Mike O’Brien that the British government supports the right of all people to display religious symbols.

“Previously I said that the British are comfortable with the symbolic expression of religion,” Mr O’Brien said in a statement. “It was not my intent to include unconventional imagery which exceeds the bounds of common decency and good taste.”

The offending symbol, a large photograph of a hairy man in yellow robes surrounded by bananas, is worn by members of the Join Us (Or Else) Cult on yellow strings tied around their necks.

Cult members, also known as Banananarians, believe that all life originated in West Cornwall, and that they are “sympathetically attuned” to their spiritual leader, Monkeyboy.

Very little documentation exists about Banananarianism because adherents believe a supernatural understanding of the faith’s tenets can be gained simply by standing in close proximity to their guru’s photograph, which is available on the Banananarian website.

Fiona Pfillingsley, a cult member who offers spiritual and nutritional advice from the Banananarian Learning Centre recently opened on Union Street in Plymouth, confirmed that she received her education in the faith primarily from “channeling Monkeyboy�s intense animalistic aura.”

Plymouth has roughly 1,000 recent converts to Banananarianism, most of them teens.

This trend has contributed to both an increase in reports of school truancy on Thursdays and a paradoxical improvement in converts’ overall scholastic performance.

Jimmy Combes, a 17-year-old Plymouth boy who recently embraced Banananarianism, believes that the faith has “saved” his life.

“My grades are up, I�m not getting into fights anymore, and I haven�t been before the magistrate in over a month.”

Combes’ mother, while agreeing that her son’s behaviour has improved, has mixed feelings about Banananarianism.

Said Mrs Combes: “He ate nothing but chips before, and layed about. Now he lays about on Thursdays, eats nothing but nanners. Says he has to wear his strange yellow clothes and nothing else will do. Mounds of yellow laundry! And you can’t mix it with other colours, can you? Or everything turns orange and green. A big pain in the arse is what it is.”

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