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BBBC News: Banananarians Branded ‘A Bizarre Bunch’ September 20, 2003

Posted by worldspectacle in Uncategorized.
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Public promotion of blessed bananas.

Dismissed as a mere fad diet as recently as last week, the Join Us (Or Else) Cult has now been recognised by government officials as having as many as 3,000 adherents in Wales alone.

Critics charge that the leader of the Join Us (Or Else) organisation, Wood N Monkeyboy, forces his followers to subsist on nothing but bananas and water, to wear banana skins, and to actively promulgate his bizarre beliefs.

Sect members believe that all life on earth was created underground in west Cornwall, and that the banana was the “first fruit” given by God to mankind, therefore “blessed among fruit.”

Though usually relaxed and friendly in appearance, Join Us (Or Else) members have been reported aggressively promoting banananarianism in public.

North Wales Police said they had received a number of calls from people who felt “intimidated” by the cult members.

Some cult members are stopping pedestrians in city centres throughout Wales, and forcing them to accept gifts of bananas and printed religious materials.

One victim, who declined to provide her name, reported being pursued “for miles” by an angry banananarian when she refused his fruit offering.

“He kept banging on about dark mineshafts and bananas,” she said. “It wasn’t at all clear what he intended to do with his banana. It was all so peculiar and almost obscene, really. So I ran.”

Police said they would be increasing the frequency of patrols in shopping districts and would consider issuing criminal anti-social behaviour orders.

“In the meantime we would warn the public to stay away from those wearing yellow clothing or lapel buttons and, under no circumstances, accept presents from strangers.”

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