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Endangered Species Axe August 15, 2003

Posted by worldspectacle in Uncategorized.
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Bailey Blue For Governor

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The future governor of California, Bailey Blue, answers another question from his would-be constituency:
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Miss Monica: Our readers would like to know Bailey’s position on the Dolphin Protection Consumer Information Act, also known as �DPCIA�?

Bailey�s Spokesperson: Eh?

MM: That�s the legislation that prevents labeling as �dolphin safe� those catches using purse seine nets.

BS: Mmm-hmmm?

MM: There have been a number of court cases challenging the finding by the Secretary of Commerce that purse seine fishery did not have a �significant adverse impact� on population levels, since the Secretary had failed to conduct congressionally mandated scientific research necessary to determine whether a �significant adverse impact� had actually occurred.

BS: And�?

MM: Well, our readers would like to know.

BS: What?

MM: How Bailey prefers to treat endangered species.

BS: He prefers them cooked.

MM: But … they�re endangered!

BS: Bailey prefers all species cooked. Especially the risky ones.

MM: But …

BS: You wouldn’t want Bailey to get a tummy ache, would you? I didn’t think so! Next question?

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