jump to navigation

Full-Employment Act with Twenty-four Hour “Tuna Train” Rider August 14, 2003

Posted by worldspectacle in Uncategorized.

Bailey Blue For Governor

This just in:

Miss Monica: A reader has asked specifically what is Bailey�s stand on mandatory daily tuna fish distribution by humans, and twice a day litter box cleaning?

Bailey�s Spokesperson: Tuna fish? Bailey wrote the book on tuna! Bumble Bee in water, chunk light only. Forget white meat. And God forbid Chicken-of-the-Sea. That would call for a lot of midnight singing.

MM: And what about litter box cleaning?

BS: If elected, Bailey will work to immediately pass his California Kitty Full Employment Act. Under this act, all women will stay at home to provide round-the-clock care to kitties. This will open up jobs for unemployed men, who will then provide the monetary support in our Kitty Caretaking Model.

MM: But what about single women?

BS: Single women will remain at home, receiving government-subsidized kitty support payments.

MM: And single men?

BS: Single men who are not currently providing primary care to kitties will be compelled to pay substantial kitty support payments into the system under our �Deadbeat Dog� program.

MM: And single men who happen to be the primary cat caretakers�?

BS: Shall be made to immediately marry cat-loving women.

MM: But �what if� what about love �

BS: It doesn�t matter if they love each other. It doesn�t matter if they even like each other. This is about what is good for society.

MM: But � the bill of rights � I mean � well, there just has to be law against that!

BS: Kitty-Support Security will be a Very High Priority for the Bailey administration. Did you have any other questions?

MM: Joey and Suzy of the PoliZeros Coalition would like to know, �what�s in it for us?�

BS: (Sigh). The Bailey team is working toward building a stronger society — one that is more supportive of cat coddling. Under Bailey, California will become a model for the comfort and contentment of cats around the world. We don’t believe Joey and Suzy will be disappointed.



No comments yet — be the first.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: